Step 1:

Come to an early agreement with your sweetheart that Valentines Day is outdated. Neither of you need that overpriced restaurant, the long lines at the London Eye, or any of that hoopla. Your love is deeper and stronger than any Hallmark conspiracy.

…then you pull a fast one. Go full sweet, thoughtful Valentine’s on them. That’s the advantage of surprise! Take your preemptive strike on February 13. We recommend Shakespeare’s Ophelia for novices:

“Tomorrow is Saint Valentine’s day,
All in the morning betime,
And I a maid at your window,
To be your Valentine.”

Cleverhood Valentines

Keep it simple. Remember you have the drop on them. They’ll be providing ‘sweet nothings.’ Your job is to convince them that your love is a skosh stronger. Don’t overdo it. Breakfast in bed can be problematic. Candy is discretionary (it looks like the crisis has been averted with the candy hearts). Flowers smell nice and brighten up the place. But do not forget the tiny card and stay on message:

“She bath’d with roses red, and violets blew,
And all the sweetest flowres, that in the forrest grew.”

That’s some solid handiwork there. Written in 1590 by Edmund Spenser  for his epic The Faerie Queene. Please refrain from adding your emojis.

Step 2:

By all means avoid the mall. Any gifts should be thoughtful or different. Something carefully made with an attention to detail. That’s like your love, right?

Keep hammering the poetry, but consider that real gifts rank very high on the Valentine’s Index®. This plan is based on fresh data. Let’s start with some examples to get the juices flowing. Perhaps something romantic and red and cozy? Something good for a blustery day or a cuddle on the couch. Of course we’re referring to Rhode Island Red Street Cape. It is no ordinary hoodie. The pocket is on the inside. Use that for holding your dreams.

Valentines Red Hoodie

Whither the Flowers?

Here’s another thought. Victor Hugo said “Life is the flower for which love is the honey.” And the rain brings the flowers. Ergo a nice ‘electric’ rain cape with a bold red zipper will enchant the Romeos and Juliets among us. That special Electric Gingham is on sale. Rain walkers and bike lovers may appreciate your considerate nature.

Electric Gingham rain cape

Dog Lovers?

Keats must’ve had a dog: “I love you the more in that I believe you had liked me for my own sake and for nothing else.”

For you two lovebirds, may we recommend something salty from the Ocean State? Like our Salty Pup dog collar and bracelet combo. Hand-crafted with traditional yacht-rigging and durable marine-grade aluminum shackle in nearby Newport, Rhode Island.

Cleverhood maritime dog collar

Good gifts come in various shapes and sizes. You can even make something, maybe. Whatever you do, please remember:

“Love is not something that you can put chains on and throw into a lake. That’s called Houdini. Love is liking someone a lot.”
— Jack Handy

Ophelia Valentines