Many people think they know how to walk in the rain. However, after 8 years in the rain cape business you learn to recognize the posers and the wannabes. It seems simple. Everyone thinks they can do it. But then when it’s nice and raining they say they don’t want to show you now. Or they dash off scampering around puddles like bugs on a hot griddle.
We get it. Everyone’s busy. We’ve got a lot of things to do with our smartphones with so few hours left for work, sleep, leisure, and canoodling. Our brains are working overtime on super-advanced data processing and that’s pretty great. But, the traditional practice of walking in the rain has some surprising benefits for our inner human machine that should not be forgotten. We’re here to show you how it’s done safely and accurately, so you regain that pop in your personality we all love.
First, prepare yourself for a nice walk. Lift your knees in a vigorous marching-in-place position for a few moments. That sends a signal to everyone that you’re ready for business. You’ll need shoes of some sort, underwear, pants and a top. I like to wear a belt.
Second, prepare yourself for rain. Consider your surface area, velocity, raindrops per cubic centimeter and estimated distance. If you don’t have the app for that, you can try looking out the window like some old-fashioned guy. Now put on a nice rain coat. If you’re particularly clever, creative or lovable, you may opt for a well-made rain cape. However, if you’re hoping to swing your arms in a nice walking motion please do not use an umbrella.
Third, step smartly into the rain. Stop for a moment and take a deep breath. Smell that? No, this is not a childish fart joke. This is science from a MIT study published in the journal Atmospheric Chemistry and Physics, which proved that air is cleaner and fresher during a rain fall. Raindrops attract particles of pollutants like dander, soot, sulfates and quite possibly fart molecules. On top of that, or under, you can count on the sweet petrichor, a scent emitted by soil-dwelling bacteria and oils from plants to waft upwards. You are walking in rarified air my friend.
Four, wake up. Notice the crowds in the street. Where did everyone go? Turns out that most people run inside when it rains. Finally, a little peace and quiet for you and your thoughts. See how the colors pop against the gray backdrop? Look at the nature. Feel free to binge watch. It’s organic!
Five, take a moment to softly caress yourself. You deserve it. The high levels of humidity in the air keep your skin fresh, young and supple. You’ve never felt so good. And as luck would have it, this little expedition softly awakens your adrenals, releasing little bits of sex hormones and stress reducers, probably. You feel so much more attractive now.
You’re doing it! Now that you know how to walk in the rain, find a buddy. Share your non-virtual experience. Let them in on all your secrets, your special places, your thoughts and dreams. Hear that? That’s laughter in the rain and the happy way you feel inside. It was a thing in the 1970’s.